Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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