I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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