Ketchup is God's man juice
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
