i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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