my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I can text with my tongue
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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