hotel room ftw
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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