he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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