just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
