i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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