Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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