do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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