He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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