weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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