there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize