Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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