dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
