I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
