its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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