The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
