There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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