ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
