Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
