I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
