She is in my trunk
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
