They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
