I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
