i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
