Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
