I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
