and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
