don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
