i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
