Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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