The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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