Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
