I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize