oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
