Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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