he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
