So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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