Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
