she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
