Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
