dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
