she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
