carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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