she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
