What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
