I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
