Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
