the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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