but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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