i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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