Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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