Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Randomize
