We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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