God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
