O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
