dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
