Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
