Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
