Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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