I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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