i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
