we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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