winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
