im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
