He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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