i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Less talking, more tequila
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
