You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think your dad took our porno
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
