There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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