Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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