Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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