I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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