and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
