How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
