You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize