at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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