I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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