More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
