she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
