I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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