Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
